World's Most Unusual Termination Letter

Now since, am an HR student I guess its only apt to start my posting with something related to HR..
WARNING: The following post is not intended for HR professionals or people looking for value add in HR...it is more a light hearted take and must be taken in that manner only...
This was written in the busy hours of the WAC class (to be read as "What A Course!!"...otherwise known as Written Analysis and Communication class) while we were supposed to be learning the format of a termination letter....however my creative instincts had other plans and I drafted this...U'll be surprised to know, though that this idea, is roughly the basis of a new Hollywood movie, (Hot Fuzz, which has already gathered a rating of above 8 on imdb.com)...and I now plan to send all my writing, no matter how arbit (read arbitrary) it is... to Hollywood, might as well make some money out of it..while I still I can....

Disclaimer: The following is only a work of fiction and no organisation (thankfully) has been known to have issued such a letter to any employee. Further, this document is only for the sake of amusement and not meant to be a reflection of the standards of any organisation existing today.

WORLD’S MOST UNUSUAL TERMINATION LETTER

To: atiuttam@oldfashioned.com
Subject: YOU’RE FIRED…
Dear Mr.Atiuttam

We are sorry to inform you that your services shall no longer be required as of today (December 6, 2006)
This is by no means a reflection of your capabilities as, in fact the company has found you to be too capable!!
You always came to meetings on time, you have been receiving the best employee award consecutively for the past 5 years. You have always achieved the maximum sales for the company. In fact, you have set such high standards, that the other employees have lost their drive.
As you are well aware, that in this day and age of competition, there is no room for second place. As a result of your excellent performance, your colleagues are now demotivated. We lost two very valued employees last month for precisely the same reasons.
You have been found to be a team player, but since your performance is so superior, your colleagues have stopped competing. In fact, your performance has made your superiors feel threatened on more than one occasion.
Had you been receiving regular promotions, you would have been heading this company three years back, which is a good indicator of the growth you can expect at your future place of work.
However, as we are an old-fashioned organization, we all value our jobs very dearly so we have no choice but to let you go.
We have been a little hesitant in forwarding your resume to other companies, as they might face the same problems that we have, which might deteriorate our relations with them.
As a result, we were unable to provide any future employment options for you.
However, we are confident that with your abilities, you will not consider this a setback.
We would be thankful if you do not contact us this day onward so that our other employees can hope to make a fresh start.
Wishing you all the success in your future endeavours.

Cheers
XYZ
Personnel Department
OldFashioned & Co.